JK Keller

Questions

Answers

1. What time is it?

9:28am

2. Name as it appears on your birth Certificate

Jonathan Edward Keller

3. Any nicknames?

Nerd

4. Parent’s name?

Sidney and Paulette

5. Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake:

1, and it was a piece of baklava. I was 27.

6. Date that you regularly blow them out?

January 11

7. Pets?

Not yet

8. Favorite animal?

The drummer from the Muppets

9. Tattoo?

When I get some money, a wide forearm band of small ‘red cross’ symbols

10. How much do you love your job or jobs?

Fantastic! I don’t have one at this moment.

11. Birthplace?

Hutchinson, MN

12. Favorite vacation spot?

Akaroa Bay, New Zealand

13. Been to Africa?

No

14. Ever stolen traffic signs ?

I think I helped grab a couple with all the ‘house for sale’ signs we could find one night. Later, to all end up on one friends’ yard.

15. Ever been in a car crash?

Does backing into a parked car count?

16. Croutons or Bacon Bits?

Croutons

17. 2-door or 4-door car?

Both, at some point

18. Coffee?

More and more.

19. Salad Dressing?

Very little, whatever it is.

What happened to 20?!?

Continue reading ‘Survey from my brother, Tony’

Questions

Answers

1) Your first concert:

Could this really be true?…Lollapalooza? I think it was my first concert. Unless, of course it was something at the county fair…

2) In your grown life, have you ever wet your pants?

Last time I remember was in sixth grade. That’s embarrassing enough.

3) Ever run out on a tab (taxi, bar, restaurant)?

No.

4) It’s Halloween. You dump your candy bag out and feast your eyes on the sugar bonanza. What do you eat first?

Tootsie Rolls, the biggest first.

5) Tell a most awkward/ embarassing/ nasty vomit story (you may be witness to or you may be the ill one here…):

Uh, not really anything weird. Just the normal puke.

6) Does your mother curse?

She says some shit.

7) Which family member or family friend did/do you least like greeting with a kiss?

We don’t greet with a hug, much less a kiss, in my family.

8 ) It’s 4:30 a.m. You’re drunk in a diner. What do you order?

Not a peanut butter sandwich! Damn.

9) If you HAD to choose, depending on whichever gender you have affections for, would you rather hook up with: Michael Bolten / Weird Al / or Dick Cheney -or- Roseann Barr / Martha Stewart / or Janet Reno?

Martha, she’s a freak in bed, or so I hear.

10) Best concert:

Low, in Loring Park. Beautiful Day, Beautiful Music.

11) Worst hangover:

Saturday, September 14th, 2002. Uh, yeah…

12) Favorite childhood Christmas gift:

Construx

13) Do you wash behind your ears?

Not always.

14) When going camping, do NOT forget to bring:

An active mind.

15) Grossest, most regretable kiss:

I can’t say I’ve regretted any. Is it just me, or is this just not a funny questionnaire at all? I can’t even make a sarcastic comment.

16) Who would you rather moon: Oprah, Katy Couric, or Barbara Walters?

Katie Couric. I have no reason whatsoever.

17) Do you let dogs kiss your face (the 4 legged creatures, that is)?

It depends on if I’ve made the first move or not.

18) Favorite song to shake your bootie to:

‘Shake Your Bootie Cutie’ — Geri Halliwell

19) There’s a blackout. Candles lit & it’s too quiet. Who do you want to be stuck chatting with?

Buckminster

20) Rather have lunch with Bill Cosby, Cindi Lauper or Carrot Top?

Bill all the way

21) Say one thing about your belly:

I’ve never be proud.

Questions

Answers

1. What time is it?

15:57

2. Your name as it appears on your birth certificate:

Keller Edward Jonathan

3. Nicknames:

Jonathan Edward Keller

4. Parents’ names:

Cindy + Paul

5. How many candles on your last birthday cake:

I don’t think the football playing Hershey’s kisses and Rolos left any room for candles

6. Date that you regularly blow them out:

Super Bowl Sunday

7. Pets:

Peeves

8. Height:

7′6″, but I have TERRIBLE posture

9. Eye Color:

hazel (only because I don’t think that is a real color, but a criminal cop-out)

10. Hair color:

That’s just rude!

11. Piercings:

see above

12. Tattoos:

Soon, I hope to get a red blotchy mark on my neck, so everyone thinks I’ve got a hickey

13. How much do you love your job?

Uh, I’m answering this 72 question survey, how bad could it be…

14. Birthplace:

Hospital

15. Hometown:

Hutchinson, MN

16. Residence:

One shaky, hot, clanging, hissing, grout-filled apartment, with the optional work studio a walk away.

17. Ever had the drink Calypso Breeze? All right, we’ve all received this survey a few times; its a lot of fun, but some of these questions are getting old and some of them are LAME, so, I’m taking things into my own hands. The revisions start NOW:

THANK GOD HOLLY

18. Favorite desert place:

Vineiro’s

19. Favorite fictional female character(s):

Charlie’s Angels

20. Favorite fictional male character(s):

Dirk Calloway (Rushmore), Ignatius Reilly (Confederacy of Dunces), Calvin (Calvin + Hobbes)

Continue reading ‘Survey from Holly’

Questions

Answers

1. What time is it local:

8:59am

2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate:

Jonathan Edward Keller

3. Nicknames:

Tiger, Killer, Nerd, JK

4. Parent’s names:

Paulette + Sidney

5. Number of candles that appeared on your last cake:

There should have been 25, but I think we only had 20 left. They melted so fast that the wax became one with the brownies.

6. Date that you regularly blow them out:

11.january

7. Pets:

Only origami for now.

8. Height:

5 feet, 11.5 inches

9. Eye color:

Greyish-Green

10. Hair Color:

Brown

11. Piercing:

Uh, No.

12. Tattoos:

Soon, very soon

13. How much do you love your job:

Job?! Oh, yeah, I should start one of those.

14. Birthplace:

Hutchinson, MN

15. Hometown:

Hutchinson, MN

16. Current Residence:

Brooklyn, NY

17. Had the drink Calypso Breeze?

Is this some sort of drug or sex slang?

18. Been in love before?

Yep.

19. Been to Africa?

Only in my head. Only in my head.

20. Been toilet papering?

Oh, yeah. The Five Jacques!

Continue reading ‘Unsure of the origins of this survey’